Animals seem to find it easiest to relax when their largely unflappable people have a plan.
I have a Viszla (Mess), who is an enthusiastic overachiever, confident in her world and knowing that if she follows my direction, she'll be safe, fed and have a fun, full life.
If I ask her for direction, she turns into a neurotic, actual mess within minutes.
Albert the Spinone on the other hand doesn't need so much direction and is happy to be asked what he would like to do, and confident that I won't mind if he asks me if he can do something, and will probably let him within reason. He still has to ask though, because the overall plan is still mine - he doesn't have to pick anyone up from school or get the food from the shop, or keep an eye on the time, so even if he does fancy going the long way, he still needs to defer if I say no because we're out of time. If he sees me hesitate, he might be able to persuade me, so he might try, but he still will happily do as I ask. Probably safe in the knowledge I won't forget he wanted to go the long way and will make it up to him at some point.
This feeling of safety comes from the knowledge that someone has a plan that isn't you, and ultimately carries the responsibility for everyone. This elicits a feeling of total relaxation in animals - safe in the knowledge that someone has a plan and has their back.
I fully appreciate the value of this having lost my Mum early and not having anyone to carry any responsibility or to give me guidance from a young age and into adulthood. Without that guidance, all the learning has to be Out in the World and there's trouble out there, whether you're looking for it or not!
This feeling is one of the reasons I am so anti the 'rescuing' of foreign, feral dogs. They live a life of freedom, with agency to decide what to do when. They learn self-reliance and can absolutely lose their shit when they lose that agency and decision making power. Understandably so. I think deciding regular meals and free health care are more valuable than freedom on another beings behalf is pretty arrogant, if well meaning. They're pretty specialist rehab cases too. Not everyone can take a feral dog, tame it and make a decent, happy companion dog out of them. So really it should only be called rescuing if the animal subjectively wished for rescue, and is rescued to a situation that is subjectively superior to the one he or she left behind. That may be the case in some instances, but in many it is not.
So what does it look like to have a plan?
For me in the large sense, it is house rules, followed by rules outside of the house, followed by a fun, full life where everyone's needs are met as far ahead of time as possible.
In a small sense, it's demeanor, direction, speed and line of travel.
So we need to teach our companion animals a few, basic behaviours such as 'people are ACE, don't bite people', 'don't run into people', 'don't pull on the lead', 'wait there until further notice'. 'come back', 'stay close' (NOT heel - too formal), 'No horseplay in the house' and 'stop that you fool!', and with those basic pieces of communication we should be able to achieve large amounts of floppy, funny, freedom and fun for our animals which they can enjoy safe in the knowledge that we have a plan, the boundaries for safety are in place, I'll tell you if you mess up, let's go have fun!
This is the basis of a very functional relationship with animals, but notably lacks a lot of formal training. I'm SO bored by formal training it hurts, but you can bet your bottom dollar on the fact that I will notice and improve a 1% slip in any dog's recall or if any of them slide away from my 'wait there until further notice' - harmony won't be restored until that 1% is back in my court.
Those two behaviours are absolutely non negotiable for me and if a dog doesn't know them, it's the first thing I give them. That's my plan! Firm, fair, friendly and FUN!
If you prefer more formal training, that's totally fine, your dog will always be your best feedback - if he or she likes it too - win!
This is how we ultimately find the gold that all animals and humans seek - Harmony. A lack of conflict.....peace....relaxation.
The mutual together-following of a safe, easy plan that meets everyone's needs.
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